"this is the shit i like. no one said that you had to "
Now that my fiancé and I have broken up and I am a single man again I can do something like this without guilt. I would like to introduce you to a new monthly feature, the 8bm.com "I'd Hit List".

This is different from your typical "most beautiful girl" list. This is a list of girls that you would fuck given half a chance, but that you can understand why someone might not.

In other words, "you might not like her, but "I'd still hit it"."

Each girl on the list has the
reason I would directly above the reasons that you might not.

Ok, now that you know the rules.here are March's choices.
Enjoy.
Jamie Lee Curtis

Why I Would: I've always liked Jamie Lee Curtis. The reason being, she has one of the two holy gifts that women are either born with or not. They can't acquire them. There's no amount of time in the gym or diet that you can try that can give you these gifts.
The first, is the gift of not aging.
Tina Turner, Raquel Welch, Leena Horn...they never aged. Age didn't begin to catch up with them until they were damn near 65. They continued to look damn good well into an unnatural age. I mean, I was 12 but I would have fucked Tina Turner when she was 50.
That just ain't right.
Well Jamie has the second gift that you are either born with or not. Some will even argue she has the better of the two gifts.
She gets better with age.
She actually looks sexier the older she gets, just like women say that men do. What is up with that? Imagine fucking your woman and every single year she looks better than the year before. That shit ain't right. But whoever is banging Jamie isn't complaining. No matter how unnatural it is.

Why You Might Not: Jamie Lee Curtis allegedly has one X chromosome and one Y chromosome. Which in some circles makes her, in fact, a dude. The only reason she looks like a chick is because by some act of God, she wasn't born with receptors for her male hormones, so she went back to the genetic sexual default appearing female. In other words her penis and testicles were scheduled to be delivered but never showed up.
Some call that a "technicality".
So let the debate begin. Since she is on my "I'd Hit It" list does that make me gay?

Olsen Twins

Why I Would: The Olsen Twins as mature young women are sexy as hell. Sleeping with them both (like at the same time) would put you in the top 3% of men worldwide that have slept with a pair of beautiful twins. This would make you officially eligible to die at any point after that.

Why You Might Not: As children, they were arguably the ugliest two kids in television history. They were "cute" in the exact same way that ET was "cute".
That fact just isn't easy to shake.

Anna Nicole Smith
Why I Would: At one point in time, before she ballooned to epic white trash proportions she was a fucking goddess. My imagination and a copy of that issue of Playboy would hold me over.

Why you might not: Anna is to fat girls what Bruce Banner was to the Hulk. America saw this former playboy playmate of the year literally undergo an incredible metamorphosis into the single most disgusting pig on television since Rosanne right in front of their eyes. Despite reportedly losing 1.4 tons thanks to "Trim Spa baby", just knowing what she is capable of becoming again, is reason enough for some to leave this alone.
Ms. Sally Whitney Allen (from HBO's Prison Drama OZ)
Why I Would: Ms. Sally became an object my lust from watching HBO's television series OZ. There is something about her 36DDs bouncing and swining in front of hundreds of horny incarserated men that makes her the ultimate alpha female.
Here is a lesson that Ms. Sally taught me. A woman is much sexier if you aren't the only one that finds her attractive. You might want to be the only one fucking her but you sure as hell don't want to ever be the only one that wants to fuck her.

Why you might not: Although she did appear in damn near every single episode of Oz from the third season on, her actual time on the screen was very very very brief. She was never on the screen for longer than 5 seconds. So you can't really be too sure what the fuck she actually looks like. I mean, when you think of "Ms. Sally" what do you think of? All I think of are are two huge tits and a few hand puppets. In other words, the jury will always be out on this woman until someone can actually get a real clear photo of what she looks like. So you might not want to sleep with her if you like to err on the side of caution.
Nicole Ritchie

Why I would: Fine as hell. She's got a rich daddy, and evidently loves sex enough to tell the world on live television that she came to a Laker Game to see if she could fuck Kobe Bryant.

Why you might not: She's an alleged heroine addict, well at least she was, and she hangs out with Paris Hilton. Plus, if you are like me you might be a little concerned that she has a "little Lionel Ritchie" in her. That chin on Lionlel Ritchie looks like it could be a a pair of Walrus teeth covered under a prosthetic. It could happen to her at anytime.
Wait a minute. This just came in. Don't worry about that chin thing. She is adopted.
Now you just have to worry about Paris Hilton and the heroin. At least that is manageable. That chin isn't.

same difference

angelina jolie discusses sex, self-mutilation in abc news interview
I wouldn't want to sleep with her. I'd be afraid she might get carried away and shit on me or something.

The Last American Virgin
Despite what you think, porn is a horrible substitute for actual experience.

Lisa Marie Likes Rough Sex. Mike Didn't.
Lisa Marie Presley has never been shy about stating the obvious.

 
"Raw" written by Nkrumah Shabazz Steward, creator, 8bm.com

© 8bm.com 2005. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of 8bm.com content, including by caching, framing or similar means, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Nkrumah Steward.