Fact: Between 1902 and 1907 the
same tiger killed 436 people in India.
What I Took From This: Godís wrath against the people
of India does not just manifest in the form of mudslides, rampaging
elephants, typhoons, derailed locomotives, chemical spills, serial
killers, flash floods, earthquakes, meteorites, volcanoes, rabid
monkeys, and charging cows. No, sometimes it manifests as an inability
to get a clear shot at a man-eating Tiger that was single-handedly
killing 87 people a year.
Hughes once made half a billion dollars in one day. In 1966, he
received a bank draft for $546,549,171.00 in return for his 75%
holdings in TWA.
What I Took From This: If you vote
Republican because you are genuinely concerned about how much people
like this pay in taxes each year, and you think this kind of wealth
is going to trickle down to you, you are either a complete idiot,
or a phenomenal kiss ass with confidence in your brown nosing skills
that defy the boundary of words to describe.
the 1700's, you could purchase insurance against going to hell,
in London, England.
What I Took From This: It makes
perfect sense to me that a mere mortal insurance company could offer
reliable protection from an immortal, immaterial entity against
wrongful banishment to a metaphysical dimension of eternal punishment
at affordable rates.
Fact: 2,500 newborn babies
will be dropped in the next month.
What I Took From This: These are the people that will
see no difference in between Coke and Pepsi, compact disks and records,
cable television and satellite television, DSL and Dial-up modems,
Bruce Lee and Jean Claude Van Damme, Transformers and Gobots.
Fact: The Roman emperor Commodos
collected all the dwarfs, cripples, and freaks he could find in
the city of Rome and had them brought to the Coliseum, where they
were ordered to fight each other to the death with meat cleavers.
What I Took From This: Architecture,
urban planning, the sophistication of religious rites, system of
government, painting, literature and whatnot are not accurate barometers of the civility of a civilization. I donít give
a damn how well-developed your understanding of mathematics might
have been, if you find retards and cripples going at it with meat
cleavers high entertainment that is not civilized. Hell, you can
teach a horse to count.