To this day I still haven’t seen the third and final installment of the Matrix trilogy. I was told by enough people that I trust that Matrix Revolutions was so terrible that I never even bothered to see it.
How can I comment on something that I haven’t seen for myself?
Its easy. I am the envy of my friends because they wish that they were in the position I am in. That’s good enough for me.
Matrix Revolutions ruined the trilogy for them. They can’t even watch the first one anymore. I still can.
And that got me thinking, where exactly did the Matrix go wrong?
Let me tell you.
The Matrix franchise went wrong when the Wachowski Brothers misunderstood why the original Matrix was an instant classic.
It’s an honest mistake. It happens.
The original Matrix film was sweet because it was about how ordinary Joes go from nobodies to kick ass Kung-fu Masters that run up walls and dodge bullets by just simply accepting that the world as we know it is just a big computer program.
When you are inside the Matrix, doing back flips over speeding cars and standing upside down on the ceiling is as easy as getting off the couch and doing it.
For whatever reason, the Wachowski Brothers decided to take the story in a different direction and make the Matrix just another run of the mill post-apocalyptic movie about people flying around in ugly spaceships fighting even uglier robots.
What was cool about the Matrix was what was going on inside of the computer.
We could give a damn about what went on outside of it.
Not to mention the Wachowski Brothers made the mistake of assuming that if you and I, or any reasonably intelligent person ever came into the awareness that the world was really a computer program we would cash all of this in so we could eat lumpy porridge every and run for our lives from homicidal robots.
They thought that if you and I ever found out that all of this is really a computer program we would want to trade our warm, comfy apartment which really isn’t real, for a cold, damp underground cave in a post-apocalyptic holocaust that is real.
Who in their right mind would choose that over the Matrix?
Let’s just assume that you and I are living in the Matrix right now.
Do you think I would trade watching Vince Young running all over USC in the Rose Bowl this week for living in a cave a mile under the surface of the earth, with no cable, no internet, no sunlight, but all of the lumpy porridge I can eat?
In other words, the alternative that the Matrix offered was so much more appealing to living in the harsh reality of the outside world that it seemed almost ridiculous that anyone would even suggest “going down the rabbit hole”.
Imagine if your priest told you this Sunday that heaven was really a barren world where there isn’t any sunlight, everyday there is overcast, its cold, no grass, no trees, only smoking volcanoes and something rancid that God is trying to pass off as air to breath.
Who would come back the next week? It’s better where I am at.
If that were the case dying would be even more tragic than it already is wouldn’t it?
If the Matrix were true, we would all be organic batteries, connected to this unimaginably large power grid supplying electricity to this gigantic artificially intelligent computer system.
Well, think about Elvis. He would have been an organic battery too, and I don’t think his “fake” life was half bad.
I can think of a lot of people who would be giddy for a chance to crawl up inside of a pod and power the Matrix so that they could live Elvis’s life, fake or not.
See that is what the Wachowski Brothers didn’t seem to get. In their movie the real world sucked. They never gave us a reason to choose that life over the one inside of the Matrix other than life inside of the Matrix was really a computer program.
It would’ve been better if the real world was a paradise and the robots were like slave catchers, snatching people up out of Eden and plugging them into the Matrix against their will.
Now that would be tragic.
I am amazed that the Wachowski Brothers could film three movies and manage not to have at least one scene of what must be the hundreds of millions of people waiting in line to get back into the Matrix.
And as for Agent Smith and his goons, I wouldn’t have a problem with them and they wouldn’t have a problem with me.
I don’t want Morpheus to take away my sunshine, MTV spring break, Tuesdays at Best Buy, my X-BOX 360, NFL football or and the Internet anymore than the Agents do.
To say that life in the Matrix sucks is to say that your life sucks and my life doesn’t suck.
Had they made three installments of high flying kung-fu flicks where occasionally the characters disappear into a phone booth to get a rest every now and again we would all still be talking about those films.
Instead we aren’t.