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God Hates India
Yogi Resting on Bed of ThornsI am of the opinion that India, hell, that entire region of the world has had more than its share of people that have lost their lives due to natural disasters and other weird happenings.
No one in Pittsburgh, PA. will ever leap off their terrace to certain death in the middle of the night after being awaken by a 8 foot tall robot monkey breaking into his house.
In India, that kind of shit actually happens.
Not only will stuff like that happen with alarming frequency, but people will hear about it and choose to sleep on their roofs for weeks afterwards just to be safe.
Yeah you laugh at them from here, but they know where they live.
I can say with confidence that no one in Cleveland, Ohio, will ever go to the bus stop in the morning and find waiting for them a bag with over 100 bloody human skulls in it.
Welcome to India.
If you are one of those people who see a sign from the Gods in every influenza outbreak, every hurricane and every earthquake, then you would have no choice but to conclude that God has a hard on for the people of India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Bhutan, Nepal and Sri Lanka. There isn’t a place on the Earth it seems where you can kill more people for less. No lie, one mudslide could potentially kill 10,000 people in India. And I am not talking about over time, I am talking about all at once.
Every ferry boat, every commuter bus, every man eating tiger could potentially take out a few hundred people at a time.
If it isn’t a typhoon, it’s a city being overrun by marauding, shit-throwing monkeys if God really wants to turn it up a notch.
The question is, why India? Why not London?
I have said it once and I will probably have to say it again after this book is published, I don’t think that the fact that God hates India is due to any fault of the Indian people.
I am not sure what his beef is.
But make no mistake about it, God has beef.
Personally I don’t get into interpreting natural disasters as signs from God. I am of the opinion that if God is as powerful as he says he is, then he can bother himself to learn the language. He doesn’t have to speak in floods, Ebola outbreaks or nuclear reactor malfunctions. The people of India are a deeply religious/spiritual people with a religion that pre-dates dirt and has an answer for everything.
Everything except shit like this.
Eunuchs In India Cut Their Own Balls Off
No Wonder They Scare The Shit Out Of Me.
Elephant Tramples Man And Keeps The corpse As A Memento
Another Eight ball classic has come across the wires from India. Surprisingly, it doesn't involve the deaths of thousands
Dozens of Eunuchs Enter The Ms. World 2001 Contest. 
To the best of my knowledge Homosexuals in the western world do not remove their nuts and therefore are far superior to the Indian variety.
Man Kills Wife and Daughter Then Runs Off With Eunuch Lover
There is no such thing as the perfect heterosexual man. If you think you have one he is probably fucking a Eunuch.
India The Land of Death.
God Hates You and I Can Prove it!
Has Letterman Changed How We View India?
India will always be known as the "tragedy capital" of the solar system.
Eunuch Elected Mayor of Indian Town
Well we elected Bush. That is basically the same thing isn't it?
This Takes The Phrase "They All Look Alike" To Another Level.
How Else Can A Man Win A Beauty Pageant For Women?
India plans to test mega rocket in March. Barring Any Acts of God or rabid bovine attacks.
...so basically don't hold your breath
Elephants Drive Indian Villagers Into Trees…AGAIN
The locals don't want to leave their villages despite persuasion from local officials.
Mudslide Kills At Least 50 in India!
God Hates India, I am Convinced.
Don't Blame Me I Didn't Do It. I Only Report The Shit.
India Gets Fucked Up Again
India's Newest Threat, Marauding Monkeys! God Has Just Too Many Tools!
He summoned 10,000 monkeys from nowhere on your ass and you think you can win this?
India Is Fucked Again. Just As I Predicted.
Flood In India Kills 900 People.
7.9 Earthquake Hits India. No Surprise. Only 650 people Died! Now That Is News!
To further add insult to injury, an earthquake hit the United States at roughly the exact same time below Lake Erie, and as far as we know, not even a single fish got nauseous.

Monkey Adopts Puppy, Snapping the Back of Evolutionary Thought Around the World
In Bangladesh the land where God is a monkey someone's pet monkey has taken a puppy under her wing.