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Alien Invasion
If you listen to some people out there, apparently there are hordes of aliens from far off distant worlds that are hell bent on taking over our planet. They have infiltrated every level of our society and are just laying in wait for the day to come when they will call for their armada of flying saucers to come down and claim their piece of our little blue-green paradise.
Some say they want our water. Some say it’s our atmosphere. A lot of people say they want our women.
Actually, most say that they want our women.
When it comes down to it, the idea of an alien invasion from outer space is rooted from the same faulty logic that had ancient peoples convinced that everyone from Zeus to Yahweh wanted their goat or their virgin daughter as a sacrifice. You are assuming that they value whatever it is that you find value in. If you like double stuff chocolate cookies then you assume so does God and if God does then surely Zarnot from Planet X does too. The fact of the matter is, the chances of us having something that they don’t have or that they couldn’t make themselves is laughable.
We believe in alien invasions because it’s just an extension of our insistence that we are the most important “center of the universe “and not only do we know it, but everyone in the universe knows it, and that is why they want it, whatever that “it” is.
Notice I didn’t say that I don’t believe that there are aliens out there or that they have even visited us, I just question whether or not they are really coming to enslave us and turn us into their pets.
Farmers say Chupacabras killed more than 60 of their sheep in three weeks
Local officials have told them that it was probably just wild dogs
What The Fuck? Aliens Are Coming! Explosions In The Sky Above Australia!
All of a sudden my article about laughing at doomsayers that thought the Christmas eclipse was a sign of something isn’t so funny.
Yukon Has Record Year For UFO Sightings. Scratch That Off The Place To See List.
The last thing an Alien needs is lectures from some overweight social reject who lives in his parents basement on how they are breaking the prime directive.
I'll Be Damn. They Do Just Want Our Women!
They obviously come from an advanced civilization so they are under no illusions that a woman's looks probably won't hold up to the long trip home.
NASA Finds Objects on the Moon That Didn't Come From Us!
Space Aliens Caught In Aerial Dogfight Over Puerto Rico
They have anti-matter ray guns. End of story. Let it go. It's over.
Space center to exhibit 'proof of UFOs'
NASA then suggested the objects could be asteroids or comets - but this did not explain the way they appeared to move independently and make turns.
Apparently, Aliens Destroyed Space Shuttle to Save Earth
You know even if this was true, this Dr. Capers motherfucker needs to learn the fine art of being subtle. You don't break the news to the world that Zentradi have surrounded the planet and have started taking pot shots at our spacecraft so matter-of-factly.
Iraqi War Is Really A Ploy by Bush to get our hands on Iraq's Alien Technology
The last place on earth E. T. needs to crash land naked is any place where a four-legged animal is considered an all-terrain vehicle.
Researcher: If Iraq Threat Fails; Bush May Use E.Ts Instead
Skeptics fear that if hunting al-Qaeda lieutenants or the Iraqi conflict don't bring the public back around to Bush's favor he could be planning to use the excuse of a possible alien invasion to divert funding for secret projects
California Ministry Trying To Subvert Alien Invasion by Converting Hostile Aliens to Christianity
Surely if Neo could figure out the code to the Matrix Jesus can figure out how to stop a few Martians from dragging this guy by his ear into their flying saucer every night.
Chinese scientists to examine suspected ET relics
Doesn't it seem that everyone that acknowledges the evidence of ET are either paranoid conspiracy theorist or those sci-fi geeks that go off to Star Trek camps to brush up on their "conversational Klingon". I mean, where is the justice in that?

Giant Spider Aliens Are Guarding Saddam Hussein
"The parable of those who take protectors other than Allah is that of the spider, who builds to itself a house; but truly the flimsiest of houses is the spider's web; if they but knew." Quran 29:41

Are Aliens Playing Matchmaker...or Pimp?
Of course aliens have been involved in pimping. Do you really think that ugly dude we have all seen walking around the mall with that really gorgeous young girl could get that beautiful girl without a Jedi mind trick?

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