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I think a split second before you are about to die or you are in a potenially deadly situation, spiritually you have a sit down with a Karma financial anaylst and they go over the numbers with you and see if you have enough in the account to get your ass out of it.
If God created man in his image and man evolved from monkeys then God looks a lot like Patrick Ewing.
They say that the chances of a catastrophic collision are just one in 909,000 but expect those numbers to decrease dramatically as the "bulls-eye crop circles" start mysteriously appearing over Bangladesh.
People just figure whatever extracurricular activities you find yourself in while in prison is just part of the punishment.
There are 70 million men in China unable to find wives because China is 70 million women short.
Sure it's lying but what's the bigger sin, gassing a puppy or telling you that you are now the proud owner of a German Shepard that was once owned by Elvis?
You've got to admire the Japanese. They seem sincerely dedicated to bringing the reality of Anime into our day to day lives.
I can't get over the fact that there isn't anything more pertinent to her constituents right now than having a storm renamed Sharonda.
The total and complete lack of interest in entertaining the possibility that witchcraft isn't the cause behind the occurrence of anything unfortunate that happens to them is the reason they are still surgical with a blow dart and a spear and not a computer guided surface to air missile.
They say all it takes to make something a habit is to do it for 6 weeks.
Each year for 67 years straight, there were at least 100 reported lynching of black men in this country.
If an Arab even stands up too quick nowadays on a commercial flight he could probably expect to get the "Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay" knocked out of him by somebody.
Of course aliens have been invovled in pimping. Do you really think that ugly dude we have all seen walking around the mall with that really goregous young girl could get that beautiful girl without a Jedi mind trick?
Doesn't it seem that everyone that acknowledges the evidence of ET are either paranoid conspiracy theorist or those sci-fi geeks that go off to Star Trek camps to brush up on their "conversational Klingon". I mean, where is the justice in that?
Surely if Neo could figure out the code to the Matrix Jesus can figure out how to stop a few Martians from dragging this guy by his ear into their flying saucer every night.
The last place on earth E.T. needs to crash land naked is any place where a four-legged animal is considered an all-terrain vehicle.


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