|I think a split second before you are about to die
or you are in a potenially deadly situation, spiritually you have
a sit down with a Karma financial anaylst and they go over the numbers
with you and see if you have enough in the account to get your ass
out of it.
|If God created man in his image
and man evolved from monkeys then God looks a lot like Patrick Ewing.
|They say that the chances of
a catastrophic collision are just one in 909,000 but expect those
numbers to decrease dramatically as the "bulls-eye crop circles"
start mysteriously appearing over Bangladesh.
|People just figure whatever extracurricular activities
you find yourself in while in prison is just part of the punishment.
|There are 70 million men in China unable to find wives
because China is 70 million women short.
|Sure it's lying but what's the bigger sin, gassing
a puppy or telling you that you are now the proud owner of a German
Shepard that was once owned by Elvis?
|You've got to admire the Japanese. They seem sincerely
dedicated to bringing the reality of Anime into our day to day lives.
|I can't get over the fact that there isn't anything
more pertinent to her constituents right now than having a storm renamed
|The total and complete lack of interest in entertaining
the possibility that witchcraft isn't the cause behind the occurrence
of anything unfortunate that happens to them is the reason they are
still surgical with a blow dart and a spear and not a computer guided
surface to air missile.
|They say all it takes to make something a habit is
to do it for 6 weeks.
Each year for 67 years straight, there were at least 100 reported
lynching of black men in this country.
|If an Arab even stands up too quick nowadays on a commercial
flight he could probably expect to get the "Um diddle diddle
diddle um diddle ay" knocked out of him by somebody.
|Of course aliens have been invovled
in pimping. Do you really think that ugly dude we have all seen walking
around the mall with that really goregous young girl could get that
beautiful girl without a Jedi mind trick?
|Doesn't it seem that everyone
that acknowledges the evidence of ET are either paranoid conspiracy
theorist or those sci-fi geeks that go off to Star Trek camps to brush
up on their "conversational Klingon". I mean, where is the
justice in that?
|Surely if Neo could figure
out the code to the Matrix Jesus can figure out how to stop a few
Martians from dragging this guy by his ear into their flying saucer
|The last place on earth E.T.
needs to crash land naked is any place where a four-legged animal
is considered an all-terrain vehicle.