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Insects have an evolutionary glitch in their design which attracts them to the light. This is similiar to the evolutionary glitch which drives Jesus freaks with low reading comprehension levels to kill themselves in the name of God.
If after 3 months of all-out warfare, my entire military had only managed to kill one single solitary enemy, I would seriously have to reconsider my commitment to this ass backwards, intolerant, illiterate way of living that I have found myself in.
Teachers fucking students is getting a little too common. I think it is time I got serious about continuing my education. is all about news stories which piss off the painfully naive.
Love is when her hormonal induced neurosis seems insignificant next to her ability to suck the bedspread up my ass.
When you live like the Amish, introducing a gasoline powered vehicle into their world is like introducing a new species into an ecosystem where it has no natural enemies.
No one should be more concerned about finding your lip than you.
Thor, the God of Thunder, according to the official Marvel Universe, is 6’6 and 640 pounds. Marie is 400 pounds. Thor is 640 because his bones and skin is like 4 times as dense as a normal human. He has a legitimate excuse.
Surely you've heard of intuition. It's like the Force, except everyone can use it.
Prostitutes are the Gazelle of the Serengeti as far as serial killers are concerned.
Medical physicians warn that such unconventional use of a tooth brush can lead to serious injuries, such as a perforated bowel.
Left with no other option, management now says they will use an electrical device for a process called electro-ejaculation since the zookeepers were too pussy to climb into his cage and jerk off the gorilla.
Little did the Gods realize, however, that death had little, if any, jurisdiction over the fate of fools and drunks.
Many years ago, modern medicine did away with “intentional” bloodletting. Well, apparently using “brute strength” to pry open someone’s eyes after they get glue in them isn’t going to go out as quietly.
With a track record like India has with ritualistic killings you've got to nip something like this in the bud before the next train wreck, flash flood or supernatural monkey creature emerges and forces you to give it all of your attention.

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