|Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out Bizarre Sexual Positions
"some assembly required" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8bm.com
|Fact: During the time that the atomic bomb was being hatched by the United States at Alamogordo, New Mexico, applicants for routine jobs like janitors were disqualified if they could read. Illiteracy was a job requirement. The reason: the authorities did not want their trash or other papers read.
What I Took From This: What is stopping someone from lying and saying that they can’t read when they can? How can they confirm you are telling the truth? How the hell did anyone manage to fill out the application if they couldn’t read? Besides, if anything would be Greek to the common Joe Blow it would have to be notes scribbled on a napkin about atomic bombs wouldn’t it? Once again, the military industrial complex confirms that they are high on good intentions but only running on fumes in the tank when it comes to practicality.
Fact: If you have a tapeworm in your stomach, it will come up while you're asleep to lick the salt off your lips.
What I Took From This: I took a waste paper basket that was next to my desk and I threw up in it, which is what I took from this. I don’t have the stomach to visit third world countries.
Fact: Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions.
What I Took From This: Before I will offer a comment, I would like to have you define the word “bizarre” in this context please. Uh, and I will need pictures.
Fact: Boanthropy is an actual disease in which a man thinks he is an ox.
What I Took From This: If someone had never seen an Ox before, and didn’t know what one is, could they contract a disease like this? I don’t think so. Since when does ignorance make you immune to a disease? How many people are really walking around thinking that they are an Ox anyway? Probably as many people are walking around thinking that they are Bugs Bunny or Bizarro Superman so why does this have its own name. Why don’t we just lump them under a generic disease like “patheticthropy”. I am sure whatever pill will treat someone that thinks he is Jesus Christ will work on the guy that thinks he is an Ox.
Fact: More than half the American men surveyed in a recent poll admit to having sex with women they disliked.
What I Took From This: This doesn’t surprise me in the least. She “tolerates” your friends, hates the fact that you have a fantasy football team, never read a comic book, never played Nintendo or Sony Playstation, and is threatened by pornography, fuck that, she is threatened by damn near every other woman on the planet. She sets you up with questions that have no right answer like, “Do you think I should change my hair style?” or “Do you think I am fat?”
The reason the “sex drive” is so strong is so that men can overcome the fact that for far too many women, not much else is attractive about them but their bodies. Let’s just face it relationships are so much work because we are not compatible. Oh sure, you hear them talking about being “beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, liking football, kung fu movies, and pornography but those are the lesbians, they don’t count. I have heard the slogans of feminine unity but most of them will admit that they can’t stand each other so why would we? Until the natural tendency to run like hell from manipulative, nagging, jealous, spiteful, hyper-sensitive, vengeful, materialistic, catty people is conquered through intensive primal scream therapy this will be the primary reason men and women will always hook up. Uh, I take that back, that maybe the primary reason but beer is a close second. If it wasn’t for beer humans would have a mating season just like every other animal on the planet and then we would just go our separate ways.