Fact:Hitler and Napoleon
both had only one testicle. What I Took From This:Some
men need little tiny red sports cars, and busty blond 19-year-old
girls to show that they still measure up...while others need to take
Fact: Howard Hughes
once made half a billion dollars in one day. In 1966, he received
a bank draft for $546,549,171.00 in return for his 75% holdings in
What I Took From This:If you vote Republican
because you are genuinely concerned about how much people like this
pay in taxes each year, and you think this kind of wealth is
going to trickle down to you, you are either a complete idiot,
or a phenomenal kiss ass with confidence in your brown nosing skills
that defy the boundary of words to describe.
Fact: Between 1902
and 1907 the same tiger killed 436 people in India.
What I Took From This:God's wrath against
the people of India does not just manifest in the form of mudslides,
rampaging elephants, typhoons, derailed locomotives, chemical spills,
serial killers, flash floods, earthquakes, meteorites, volcanoes,
rabid monkeys, and charging cows. No, sometimes it manifests as an
inability to get a clear shot at a man-eating Tiger that was single-handedly
killing 87 people a year.
Fact: In the 1700's, you could purchase
insurance against going to hell, in London, England.
What I Took From This: It
makes perfect sense to me that a mere mortal insurance company could
offer reliable protection for an immortal, immaterial entity against
wrongful banishment to a metaphysical dimension of eternal punishment
at affordable rates.
Fact:2,500 newborn babies will be
dropped in the next month. What I Took From This:These are the
people that will see no difference in between Coke and Pepsi, compact
disks and records, cable television and satellite television, DSL
and Dial-up modems, Bruce Lee and Jean Claude Van Damme, Transformers
Fact:The Roman emperor Commodos collected
all the dwarfs, cripples, and freaks he could find in the city of
Rome and had them brought to the Coliseum, where they were ordered
to fight each other to the death with meat cleavers.
What I Took From This: Architecture,
urban planning, the sophistication of religious rites, system of government,
painting, literature and whatnot are not accuratebarometers of the civility of a civilization. I don't give a damn how well-developed
your understanding of mathematics might have been, if you find retards
and cripples going at it with meat cleavers high entertainment that
is not civilized. Hell, you can teach a horse to count.