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Some assembly required

6 out of 10 Americans believe Joan of Arc is Noah's Wife.

Fact: 6 out of 10 Americans believe Joan of Arc is Noah's Wife.
What I took from this: She isn't?

Fact: In feudal Japan, the Imperial Army had "special" soldiers whose only duty was to count the number of severed enemy heads after each battle.

What I took from this: I take it that this was the world's earliest recorded attempt at developing a "don't ask don't tell" policy regarding homosexuals in the military.

Fact: Out of the 34,000 gun deaths in the U.S. each year, fewer than 300 are listed as "justifiable homicide," the only category that could include shooting a burglar, mugger, or rapist.

What I took from this: Yeah, but out of those 34,000 gun deaths in the U.S. each year, how many out of those bastards had it coming?

Fact: Henry VIII's second wife, Anne Boleyn, had six fingers on one hand. She wore special gloves all her life to hide her deformity. She also had three breasts.

What I took from this: Fuck what Brigham Young says incest is not a victimless crime.

Fact: A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.

What I took from this: In theory at least, mimicking the waves registered by an EEG machine that has been hooked up to a pair of natural DD breast, if they could then be broadcast it would be like practically creating a mind control ray. I will assume you would get the same effect from mimicking the waves from the motion of a pair of swinging testicles for homosexual men.

Fact: Impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 states in the United States.

What I took from this: They tell us that size doesn't matter, but dammit, apparently you'd better have something.


 
same difference

Napoleon's hemorrhoids contributed to his defeat at Waterloo.

Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.