RAW DOGMA                                                                       written by Nkrumah Steward

Five Indians Die Attempting to Save A Pigeon

I am never one to say something bad about five dumb asses trying to clean up their karma, but this is ridiculous.
Five Indian villagers were killed when a kid jumped into a well to save an injured pigeon that had fallen in. The other four died trying to help.
A pigeon?
Now am I such a bad person because I wouldn’t even think once about following a pigeon into a well?
Then again, I am not so desperate to bolster up my sagging karma stock.
I guess this is what happens when your life sucks and you want to insure that in the next life you fair better than you did this time around.
Maybe selflessly jumping into a well to save a pigeon might be just the opportunity you’d been waiting on to get dibs on the life of a wealthy prince and you can leave that village life behind for good.
If that is the philosophy you subscribe to then I guess I don’t blame you for jumping into the well to save the pigeon.
Personally, here in the west we don’t have such concerns.
Whether Karma is the rule that the universe plays on or not, it really doesn’t concern most of us one way or the other.
If my life sucks the next time I am born, how will it be any worse then how it sucks this time around?
Since I don’t know any different, seeing that I have no recollection of any of my past lives I will cope with my next shitty life like I always do.
If my next life is great, it will still be the only life I can recall.
Since I won’t know any differently, chances are pretty good that I won’t appreciate that life anymore than I appreciate the one that I am living right now.
I am speaking of the one that sucks so bad that I felt compelled to follow a pigeon into a well to save it.
For all I know, the life I am living now could be 1000 times better than my last life.
I don’t know many people that don’t spend most of their lives complaining about something or other.
Maybe they don’t complain to me but they are complaining to someone.
Parents complain because they don’t have any grandbabies yet.
Men complaining that their wives let themselves go. Women complain that their husbands are more interested in football than sex.
Kids complain that they don’t have all the latest fashions for school this fall.
The dog is even complain that you don’t walk him enough.
And something tells me that saving a pigeon from drowning in a well isn’t going to change my nature. It might get me born into a family that have houses worthy of MTV cribs but that still won’t stop me from taking it for granted and wrecking my life on prescription drugs that I will steal from my parents.
Since we have no recollection whatsoever of our past lives and typically the only way we can find out about them is to pay some quack from Berkeley, California to tell us about them, we just let pigeons that fall into wells make their own peace with whomever birds make their peace with when they fall into wells.
I am fine with that.
And how do five people die in a well? Hasn’t anyone ever heard of rope? How do they get that damn bucket down there to bring the water back up to them? Why wouldn’t at least three of them tell the other two to hold on to the bucket while they pulled them up?
I guess I am playing a little Monday morning quarterback here but that just seems like the way to go doesn’t it?
I guess they weren’t going to let the little boy that jumped in first get all of that good karma for himself. If you get good karma for helping the bird what do you get for helping the idiot that jumped into save the bird, then the idiot that jumped in after him then the one after him?
Thank God the sixth guy said, “Fuck it, I’ll take my chances”. Had he not broken the chain with a little independent thinking this could’ve went on indefinitely.

Five die trying to save pigeon, Herald Sun, August 10, 2006
same difference

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