Another Reason It Sucks To Be In The Military
"raw dogma" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Evidently human beings can only see so many bad ideas before “bad” starts to become relative to the other bad ideas and pretty soon bad ideas that aren’t as bad as others actually start to sound like good ideas.
The US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) is actually planning on using a cannon-like contraption to launch soldiers through the air as a way to get special forces, police officers and fire fighters on to the roofs of tall buildings.
No word yet on if they plan on making the few, the proud and incessantly bent over and screwed wear those Evil Knievel helmets with the stars all over it when they do launch them 40 stories into the air, but I figure if you are going to go this far, I can’t see why you wouldn’t want to go all the way.
The plan is to use a computer to get the trajectory just right, seeing that if this idea is going to go terribly wrong somewhere, that is where it would be.
Another good thing about this terrifying idea is that they will at least get to sit up right in a chair as they are being catapulted towards Valhalla, as opposed to lying on their stomach and being shot head first.
Actually if this thing works the way it is supposed to work, the victim, umm I mean the soldier would sit in this chair which would come to a complete halt at the top of the ramp, ejecting the poor fool from the seat to fly to the top of the building, leaving the chair attached to the contraption so its ready to send the next soldier to his death.
I believe that you’ve got to be either brave or stupid to not be scared shitless when you are being shot at during combat.
It has to be one or the other.
But I don’t think anyone is either that brave or that stupid to obey a direct order to let someone use a computer guided slingshot to launch your dumb ass on top of a building.
Take the stairs.
Keep an eye out on the number of US court martials in the next few years. If I see a dramatic spike in dishonorable discharges from the armed services you and I will know why.