Man Given A Bill For failed Suicide Attempt
"raw dogma" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
As if you didn’t feel bad enough already, I guess when you decide to off yourself, it should be noted that you might not be able to afford not to succeed.
So if you plan on drowning yourself make sure you eat a big meal before you swim or if you plan on shooting yourself make sure that you don’t have a window behind you pointing towards the street where people could be walking by outside.
A man in Germany tried to kill himself by leaping in front of a train but got his timing all screwed up and actually crashed into the side of the train, smashing into the window of the driver’s cabin, scaring the shit out of the train conductor.
The train conductor was so shaken up after this incident that he used it as an excuse not to show up for work for several weeks.
Anyway, to make a long story short a German court is making the guy who leapt into the side of the train with his face pay for the damage his head did to the train as well as the lost wages of the train conductor.
The total amount of damage and lost wages came to about 5, 325 dollars and some change and the court is expecting a suicidal man to come up with half of that.
I don’t know about you, but I would figure that anyone who is just coming off a failed suicide attempt would be the last person that you would count on to stick around to pay his bills.
There is something about people who attempt suicide that just don’t seem to coincide with making sure that they are squared away with everyone they owe money to before they decide to kill themselves.
Somehow I doubt worldly problems like making sure the bills are paid are at the top of their list of concerns.
I have never heard of anyone contemplating suicide saying that as soon as they close out the last of their credit cards they are going to go take a nap in the garage with the car running.
When people commit suicide, generally speaking, they are only thinking about one person and that is themselves.
Somewhere behind that is Sears, Discover and maybe a judgment made by the court against them.