RAW DOGMA                                                                       written by Nkrumah Steward

Crack for Work? Whuddayah Say?

People are always encouraging people to “think out of the box”.
But do they really want you to do that? Do they really want you to come up with something that is truly out of left field?
I don’t think so. I think they want you to come up with something new but it still has to be along some somewhat successful line of thinking.
For example, a defensive coordinator is expected to come up with new and innovative ways to get to the quarterback but none of those ideas are supposed to involve the occult.
Well, you don’t get more out of the box than this.
A candidate in the mayoral race in Kelowna, British Columbia has suggested that the city government use Crack as a reward for drug-addicted homeless people in the city.
I see his logic. Crack heads seem to be willing to do anything for crack, including neglecting their own children, prostituting themselves, breaking and entering, even stealing people’s family pets.
I am not on this guys side, but you’ve got to think, if you will suck a dick for crack, why can’t you pick up some garbage, or clean up graffiti off the side of a building for crack? What, is picking up garbage too demeaning?
But drug addiction is a disease, and society, whether right or wrong, has a problem exploiting people who are sick.
Wait, what am I talking about? Since when?
Alcoholism is a disease too and beer companies don’t have a problem with you drinking your liver into the size of a grape, as long as you don’t drink and drive of course.
And cigarette companies who have a history of being honest and frank with their customers about the dangers of smoking only recently have a problem with you doing it before you turn 16.
Hell, I figure if we could just figure out how to reduce the price of crack to less than a penny, half of the crime in American inner cities would be virtually non-existent over night.
Being a drug addict doesn’t make you steal, rob and kill.
Being a drug addict and not being able to get your hands on the drugs you need makes you steal, rob and kill.
If people could get what would be the equivalent of a days worth of crack smoking in for turning in the deposit on a few cans of pop, we would have more functioning crack heads in society than we would know what to do with them.
Andrew Uitvlugt believed that using crack as an incentive could get homeless people to do all sorts of things the city needs like picking up garbage, helping old people cross the street, picking up dog poo off the side walks.
“Once they've done their duties, the addicts will feel so good about themselves, they may not need the crack, or less of it."
I don’t know about that last part. Something tells me that conquering drug addiction is a little more complicated than just improving your self-esteem with a little hard work doing the jobs nobody else wants, but I get his point.
He also wants to round up all the homeless people and put them into a combo shelter/retraining center which he wants to have built at the city dump.
Damn, this guy is low isn’t he?
But that is thinking out of the box for yeah. That is where that will get ya.
It will get all the crack heads in your city relocated at a training facility overlooking the city dump and churning out highly qualified, highly motivated urban beautification specialists.
Here’s for giving the ideas that we have already tried and know don’t work another go.

Source: B.C. Mayoral Candidate Suggests Using Crack As Incentive For Addicted Homeless, KIRO-TV 7 Seattle, Thursday, November 14, 2005
same difference

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