RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
|Woman Says She Punched Bear in the Nose, but it didn’t do shit
A 50-year-old Holyoke, Minnesota woman said that when she was recently attacked by a 150-200 pound black bear, she punched it in the nose but it didn’t do shit.
It didn’t even phase it.
There you have it. I win. I knew punching wild animals in the nose wouldn’t work.
Supposedly that tactic works on bear, sharks, Orca, lions and silverback gorillas.
Arguably, that could rank as the single most dangerous urban legend ever told.
I am calling it an “urban legend” because only someone like me, that is from civilization, would even consider believing something that foolish.
Anyone who actually lives around bear wouldn’t consider for a second that punching a bear in the nose and expecting that would be enough to make it think twice about eating you alive.
The next big lie is that if you are being chased down by a wild animal you should just fall to the ground and play dead.
Yeah, nice try.
I don’t know if you know this or not but, in general, animals have a pretty keen sense of smell. They know you aren’t dead. They know that when their eyes fail them, their nose will always be true.
You might not be moving but you still smell fresh.
That is all they need to know.
"The fight with this bear only lasted about a minute," Mary Munn said from her wheelchair in a conference room at St. Mary’s Hospital.
In less than a minute she has a gouged right leg as well as some pretty unattractive bites in her side and armpit.
"It was totally ineffective," Mary Munn said of punching the bear in the nose to defend herself.
Even her little boxer dog Maggie didn’t jump on the bear to save her, it just barked at it.
The only reason the bear didn’t kill her is because something else caught its attention while she was bitch slapping it and the bear went towards it.
I know, I know what your thinking, PCP. That bear must’ve been on PCP.
You keep believing that.