RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
|Scientist Discover Why God Is A Dude
Here comes the science.
Scientist discovered why God is a dude.
Have you ever wondered why a non-physical otherworldly entity would have a gender?
Why dose anyone have a gender?
So we can reproduce that’s why. That is why there are male and females. Most creatures need to have both male and females in order to be fruitful and multiply.
I said most.
But why would God have a penis?
He made the friggin Sun, the moon and the stars from crying out loud. But your telling me that he just can’t get around that little technicality of needing a penis?
Oh sure he can, but he just likes having one.
Who is God sticking his dick in anyway? Don't look at me like that. It's a fair question.
What is the point in having one if you aren't going to use it?
Who do Christians think he was actually fucking up there?
Angels have mothers? That would be news to me.
And where did these women come from?
First God said let there be light…
Then evidently once God could see what he was working with he started laying the pipe to a bunch of "better seen but not heard" old world broads so they could birth a bunch of Angles to do all the remedial stuff that he didn’t want to bother himself with.
I have never spoken to a Christian that has ever even suggested that God has ever fucked anyone.
They don’t even want to say he fucked Mary.
They prefer to say that she just woke up one day and was knocked up.
Well it turns out that God probably doesn’t have a penis after all so they’re probably right.
As it turns out A University of Sheffield research team has discovered why most people who “hear voices” say that they hear male voices.
It’s because male voices are less complex therefore easier for our brains to produce than female voices.
"The reason these voices are usually male could be explained by the fact that the female voice is so much more complex that the brain would find it much harder to create a false female voice accurately than a false male voice," said Dr. Michael Hunter, who led the research team at the University of Sheffield.
He also said that imaginary voices are most likely to belong to middle-aged men and often say derogatory things, which could also explain why every time someone hears God talking to them he is always talking about how much we suck and how he is so disappointed in us.
And you thought it was because he actually gives a damn if you use the same knife that you carved the turkey with to cut the candy yams.