RAW DOGMA                                                                       written by Nkrumah Steward
Yet Another Stain Takes the Form of the Virgin Mary

What is it about mold, road salt or anything that soils, smudges or corrodes that encourages it to take the form of the Virgin Mary, Christ or any assortment of Catholic deities?
And why does it seem like it’s the Catholics, more than anyone else, who seem to routinely find the faces of dead saints as well as Christ himself on corn chips, moldy refrigerators, oil puddles in drive ways and even condensation on the outside of air conditioners?
And even if you can answer that question, which I am sure someone could, can someone please explain to me why catholic deities prefer leaving their likeness this way?
What is the point of leaving your face under the top of a jar of Miracle Whip sandwich spread as opposed to doing something really amazing like leaving an actual complete sentence?
I know what you are thinking.
Where is the creativity in making the mold actually spell out something legible? That’s no fun.
The fun is in the debate over a cup of coffee or at the water cooler with other amateur miracle seekers who compare these abstract likenesses of deities they find on water stains in basements to other abstract likenesses of those same deities that they have found on the bottom of water damaged boxes.
Which in reality, they are only comparing “mild dew art” to some European artists’ very liberal interpretation of Hellenistic Middle Eastern Jews which they painted to favor themselves.
No anthropologist with a college credit under his belt would base his credibility on a claim that the Jewish community in North Africa 2000 years ago being virtually indistinguishable from blond haired blue eyed Norwegians today.
But I would argue that if it’s possible to rank miracles I would place finding an entire scripture written in mold on a wall a million times more extraordinary than a smudge on a wall that could just as well be Emperor Palpatine as it could be the Virgin Mary.
But time and time again the Virgin Mary, Jesus and whoever else is the patron saint of something elects instead to send a message to the world through a salt stain under a Chicago underpass and let the critics’ debate whether or not it is a criticism on ramped materialism in modern society or a more introspective existentialist comment on wrestling with the pressures of 2000 years of celebrity.
Whatever floats your boat.

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same difference

Catholic Church Looks Into Three Alleged Miracles
In case you didn't know beatification is when a dead person is publicly declared to be in heaven by the church. Like they have someone in the Vatican that is going to open a door and take a look.

pope gets honorary degree after condemning founder to hell
Maybe the only enjoyment God gets out of the world anymore is laughing at people who confuse having faith with being resolutely backward.

Source: Associated Press