When Karl Rove tapped into the power of the Jesus freak to come out and vote for Dubya in 2004 I am not sure he knew what he was doing.
And I don’t mean regarding the process of getting Bush reelected. Obviously he knew what he was doing in that sense, however, in regards to actually trying to harness the power of the religious fanatic, now that my friend is something not easily done.
I hope he didn’t open up this box of worms in a do or die, risk everything, take no prisoners, place all our hopes in one basket plan just to secure another four years of trying to incite Armageddon.
Because if he did, I hate to break it to ya Karl, God isn’t going into battle with Dubya on the final roster.
When it comes to Jesus freaks, Buddha Groupies, Muhammad Heads or any of these religious freaks, my feeling is that you’d probably have a better chance training a wild wolverine to give a blow job without using its teeth than getting these people to fall in line for the long term.
Their whole world view is based on everything going to shit, they expect it, in fact, they encourage it.
And, although that pretty much falls in line with the conservative world view I don’t believe conservatives actually want to see the world literally destroyed.
Conservatives just want to have the world their way as do they liberals.
Religious fanatics are different in that they actually want to see everything go up in smoke.
According to the conservative the way the story ends is much like how the story ends for the liberal; they are elected to office, everyone accepts that they were right the whole time, they are given total autonomy to do whatever they please and then spend the rest of their days tormenting the other side of the aisle with “I told you so” until they roll over and die.
The way the story always ends for the religious freak is that the world is destroyed and everyone and everything on it but them.
Why are they spared? Because they are fanatical that’s why. God has a special place in his heart for the monomaniacal.
I am telling you Karl Rove, on the outside looking in, you might think you both are reading from the same choose your own adventure book they took a U-turn back on like page six and never looked back.
Regardless they have done their part. They got out and voted for him and pretty soon they are going to be expecting the goods to be delivered.
Whether they are expecting Jesus Christ to come down on a white horse wielding a flaming sword in one hand and a holding Medusa’s head in the other, or something as simple as a tax break for anyone that can speak in tongues, whatever it is Dubya and Rove are going to have to deliver something.
And Dubya better deliver, because I think if history teaches us anything, Jesus freaks consistently fail to respond rationally to disappointment.
Apparently one of the groups that supported Bush’s presidency in 2004 was some ultra secretive religious group called the Brethren whose members are forbidden to vote, read newspapers, watch television or participate in the outside world in anyway.
So the question is why did they raise some $500,000 to get Bush reelected or more importantly why would they care one way or the other since they have nothing to do with the world anyway?
A man named Bruce Hazell of London, England and also a member of the Brethren personally contributed $377,262 of his own money. You would think he would be the best person to ask.
When Hazell was contacted about his contribution by the St. Petersburg Times his secretary told them that he had conveniently “just stepped out of the office” and wouldn’t be back until next week.
Ok, moving down to the second choice on the list, the St. Petersburg Times called the man listed as the contact for the group and he was asked about the ads that the group ran during the election but he refused to talk about them but did say that he was glad Bush won and that that he wouldn’t add anymore than that because the group likes to “fly beneath the radar”.
"The president thought we had gotten rid of this kind of shadowy activity," said White House spokesman Taylor Gross. "I have never heard of this group."
Apparently the Brethren are said to sport about 50,000 members, they are Christians who hold all day Sunday worship that always begin promptly at 6 a.m. in windowless rooms.
Like most hardcore Jesus freaks they do not have dealings with non-members, and they routinely ex-communicate family members that they catch doing such unforgivable things as listening to rock music or even using a television. They have been known to even go so far as to forbid children from talking with their own parents for as little as turning on a radio.
The group traces their origins back to the late 1820s when John Nelson Darby left the Church of Ireland because it had become too secular.
Their spin on things is that they hate the world because in their view, God has given the world over to Satan to rule.
At the top of their list of people they hate, well maybe not at the top but right below Satan and anything requiring electricity are people who were a part of the group that wised up and left because as a former member put it, "They take the view that those of us who have seen the light and rejected it are worse than those who have never seen the light."
If Satan is ruling the world now and the best thing God can come up with to undermine his power is George W. Bush I think it’s a fair to assume that since it was God put Satan on the throne in the first place evidently he intended on him to stay for a while.
If God has tapped George W. Bush to lead his team against the forces of Satan its obvious that God considers this a rebuilding year, evidently he won’t be terribly disappointed if he isn’t competitive in the short term and is probably just waiting to see if he is getting a high pick in the draft.