I am at work right, and someone gives me what I think is an aspirin for my headache. Well my headache eventually goes away, but my head also grows about 3 hat sizes.
Suddenly my body is unnaturally defined, I am growing muscles now where there never were any before and for all practically purposes I am a better athlete after the age of 35 than I was when I was 25.
That is what Barry Bond’s is selling and he would like us to buy it.
He didn’t know that the clear substance that he rubbed on his belly that was given to him by his personal trainer, who apparently supplied half of professional sports with steroids, was in fact steroids.
Ok, maybe it’s just me, but the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy doesn’t work well for me in this instance because the proof is in your body.
When you look in the mirror and see that Herman Munster head between your shoulders and it wasn’t there before, I would think that would be cause for concern.
I mean, how can a cream that you thought you were taking to help you with your arthritis enlarge your head?
Is that a known side effect?
Flaxseed oil does that?
So let’s say that Bonds believed that his personal trainer was on the up and up and all he slipped him was some harmless Flaxseed oil, you would think that when the circumference of your head started to literally double in size you would go see a physician?
”Maybe it isn’t the flaxseed oil but something can’t be right with me. I mean fuck, this could be the first signs of some rare form of head cancer or something like that. People’s heads don’t suddenly have growth spurts at age 35.
Not to mention, all of a sudden I am sweet. I am at the top of my game when most people are starting out on the down slide. Maybe I need to see someone about this?”
According to a transcript of Bonds' Dec. 4, 2003, testimony, prosecutors confronted the Bonds with documents allegedly detailing the steroids he used -- "the cream," "the clear," human growth hormone, Depo-Testosterone, insulin and a drug for female infertility that can be used to mask steroid use.
Man…you take the risk of growing bitch tits and an enlarged cranium just so you can reach the fences when someone throws you a pitch high and outside?
It all seems kinda complicated to me. I mean, you can try to mask the steroid all you want with female infertility drugs but like Michael Jackson’s face, the evidence is right there.
You are the evidence.
Bitch tits or not, Barry Bonds has a head like a Cave Troll.
Michael Jackson can say all he wants that he never had plastic surgery on his face but if I am a prosecutor his face would be exhibit A, B, C, and D.
Likewise, Bonds can go on all he wants about Flaxseed oil and how he didn’t know but the evidence is your head.
At the very least he should have been in an emergency room somewhere trying to figure out why his head won’t stop growing, even if he didn’t suspect the flaxseed oil.
Maybe a trained medical physician could’ve also given him an explanation as to why even his bunts fly out of the park.
Anyway you cut it, that Cave troll head he has now should have motivated Barry to ask some questions.