RAW DOGMA                                                                       written by Nkrumah Steward
Vampire Monkeys in India Attack 300 Children in 3 weeks

Only in India could the concept of vampires and monkeys be combined and made to work securing India’s stranglehold on the crown that makes it hands down the scariest region to live in the world.
Evidently there are monkeys hanging around at the ancient Kamakhya temple in Assam that have attacked up to 300 children over the last three weeks, temple officials said on Tuesday.
“They hide in trees and swoop on unsuspecting children loitering in the temple premises or walking by, clawing them and even sucking a bit of blood,” Bani Kumar Sharma, a priest at the temple, said.
Normally these monkeys which are considered holy are peaceful and worshippers even come up and feed them.
However all of this has changed over the past few weeks as these attacks on children have the religious leaders at the Guwahati temple scratching their heads.
These monkeys are supposed to be the symbol of the God Hanuman, the monkey God.
This is what is so perplexing. "Why are these monkeys attacking children?", they are asking themselves.
I dunno, maybe because they are monkeys?
Just because something is a symbol doesn’t mean that it isn’t what it is.
I was born under the sign of Taurus the Bull, wouldn’t it be kinda off for me to assume that you could put me in a bullring with an angry bull and I would have some soft of spiritual connection with it?
What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, these monkey are not Gods but just monkeys and this is the kind of shit that monkeys do?
I dunno. That’s my guess.
Apparently it isn’t anything new for Delhi to be plagued by violent marauding troops of monkeys. They even killed a civil servant once by intentionally dropping a flower pot on his head.
And what they found is taht the more humans the monkeys have around them the worse the problems are.
Like in Urban areas for example, where the monkeys have less fear of humans they are even more out cold.
Since killing monkeys is illegal in India because of this Hanuman God association they have over there, instead of killing the monkeys authorities in India actually built a monkey prison in Punjab where particularly violent monkeys can be locked away.
You’ve got to be kidding me?
Monkey prison?
Would this also include a monkey court and a monkey trial and maybe a monkey parole system?
Lord only knows if you were keeping God in a cage, against his will, without a fair trial you would be committing some sort of unjust transgression against God-kind.
Regardless of religious tradition occasionally formerly violent trouble causing monkeys are found in sacks just tossed on the side of the road as they were in Harvana where 59 monkeys tied up in sacks were found not too long ago.
I guess when things get too rough you can always say you lost your mind kill a few dozen of them and say a few Hail Marys and you might be able to skirt being reborn as a goat in the next life.

same difference

Woman Breast feeds Abandoned Baby Monkey
Well one good thing that has come from all of this. The people in the surrounding villages have something to take their minds off the graves of their love ones being pillaged by cannibal cult members looking for corpses to eat. That can take a lot out of a person.

God' Monkey Sits Through Lecture Before 'Studying' in Library
Here we expect to see God appear in the form of winning super lotto ticket, Elvis or a winning field goal. But I guess when your God you are obligated to live up to the expectations of your audience.

Source: Hindustan Times, Associated Press

FAQ | terms | privacy | copyright | jobs | CONTACT © 2005 8BM.COM LLC.