site related
special features
RSS Feed
about 8bm
favorite sites
for old stories.

RAW DOGMA                                                                       written by Nkrumah Steward
The Reason Millennium Cult Groups Don't Scare Me!

God said he would destroy the world with a flood, so man built a boat.  He destroyed Sodom and Gomorra by fire but that just happened to be the first place man actually developed a dependable public service system and with the help of the newly formed fire and police departments hundreds of lives were saved. He proclaimed that the next time he would try to wipe us all out it would be by fire. Maybe that is his problem, he gives us too much warning, and choosing fairly obvious times to do it doesnít help.

I mean he would have had us all dead to sight if he would have picked a random date like June, 8 1978 but no, he is going to pick December 31, 1999 as if no one saw that coming. Once man heard that fire from the sky might be in the weather forecast he headed straight for the caves and stock in companies which produce products that use fire retardant plastics saw an increase of 300%.

If he really wanted to kill us he should use the only weapon we canít counterÖassholes and idiots.  No matter what level of technological or intellectual sophistication man achieves he has always been ultimately powerless against controlling these two forces.

However, I can see why God would be hesitant to employ these doomsday weapons seeing that they are probably the reason he wants to wipe us out in the first place.

First God destroys the world by water. He promises never to do that again. As if that is supposed to make us feel better. Next time, he promises, he will destroy the earth by fire. Optimistic fella isnít he. Right after he kills everybody off by flood, the water has barley receded from the hills before he is second guessing his decision to save Noahís drunken ass and his equally dysfunctional family of inbreeds when he sees how enthusiastic some of the brothers were to start repopulating the planet with their big tittied sister Judith. Almost immediately he prophesizes that he will probably have to destroy everybody all over again in a few thousand years because we are just too fucking pathetic.

One of these so called Millennium cult groups, no doubt direct descendents of Judith and Japheth Noah, followers of cult leader Ceferino Qunito found it easier to hide from God than to change their sinning ways, made an attempt to advert Godís impending disaster by hiding in the caves of the Philippines.

Well I can see their logic, after all, if you are underground itís pretty easy to avoid fire from the sky as well as his bad aim. In this case however, I canít see Qunitoís logic in hiding in the caves of the Philippines seeing that the Philippines are one of the most earthquake-prone places on the earth.

When the earthquake hit, it scared the shit out of the 2,000 cultists that were in these tunnels. The walls started cracking, rocks fell from the ceiling, people shit on themselves and ran out screaming for their lives. Now they find themselves in a very difficult dilemma. Do we play chicken with Godís aim, hope he is out of practice since his last attempt at Gomorra, or try your luck back in the cave.  Maybe God will have better luck this time with people like these around. I think I like his chances.

same difference

Good Riddance. Seven Dead In Possible Family Religious Suicide
Low Reading Comprehension Scores Are Nothing To laugh at

Lack of Faith In God Blamed For Over 43,000 Deaths A year
And Armageddon Doesn't Start Until Next Week

Cult Groups. If You Join Them, You Deserve What You Get 
I Couldn't Care Less About Waco or Uganda

Comments on this article please send to

FAQ | terms | privacy | copyright | jobs | CONTACT © 2005 8BM.COM LLC.