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RAW DOGMA                                                                       written by Nkrumah Steward
Women is engulfed by 100 bats in her kitchen
An Austrian woman opened the door to her pantry in her kitchen and was overwhelmed by a swarm of over 100 bats that immediately filled her house.
Talk about having balls. Either this lady has a severe case of the hyper-testicular fortitude syndrome Mr. M was talking about or she is just deaf.
I have to think, on some level at least, you would be able to hear 100 bats hiding in a kitchen pantry.

I mean, at the very least, human instinct should've warned you that something really wrong was in the pantry. Hell, I wouldn't doubt it if at least on some level she wouldn't have been aware of some theme music playing softly in the background.
Whatever possessed her to open that pantry better had been worth it. Curiosity alone wouldn't have been strong enough, because if that was me that had opened that pantry and gotten engulfed in 100 plus bats they would've found me right there on the kitchen floor in a self induced coma.

Self-induced coma?
I think I have heard of those? What exactly is that?
A self-induced coma is when you clinically die from the trauma of having 100 bats unexpectedly flying towards you out of your pantry, but they won't let you go into the light because your grandma or some relative of equal or greater emotional significance is standing at the end of the tunnel waiting to give you the standard "this isn't your time" recitation that they always give. So Instead of hearing that long winded "you have so much yet that you have to do" crap you just simply refuse to go back.

Well not only did this lady not die she apparently was the one to call for help to remove the bats from her home. It took four experts from the Association of Bat Science and a police officer to remove all the bats from her apartment in central Vienna.
Apparently the bats had been trapped in the building's courtyard by a pigeon net and somehow found their way into her pantry through an open window.
same difference

Grandmother kills over message on Ouija board Then Runs away Screaming in Demon on Two broken Ankles.
I don't know about you, but that is some pretty supernatural shit to do on two broken ankles.

Apparently You Can Really Cheat Death.
This is the first modern day miracle that I have heard since that one dude lived for three hours after being run over and completely cut in half by that semi-truck in that parking lot.

source: Associated Press
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