Make sure you go to Borders or Barnes and Noble and order the book. Also don't forget to leave a book review if you have time on Borders.com and or Barnesandnoble.com.
All orders purchased through 8bm.com will be personally signed and numbered by me before I ship them to you.
You don't have to buy them from me. From now until the end of time If you buy directly from me you will get a signed and autographed copy, but if you decide to go around me and buy it from Borders Books, Barnes and Noble or any other retail store you can do that as well.
100 Man Poll
Friday, November 18, 2005
Attack of the Eyelash Mites
Bed mites have one mission and one mission only, they are intent on eating you alive every single night that you crawl into bed to go to sleep.
And their plan is foiled every single morning when your alarm wakes you up because God in his infinite wisdom cursed them with mouths too small to feasilbly consume all of you in an eight hour peroid. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Crack for Work? Whuddayah Say?
if you will suck a dick for crack, why can’t you pick up some garbage, or clean up graffiti off the side of a building for crack? What, is picking up garbage too demeaning? "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
mlb pitcher implicated in immolation case
Urbina doesn’t have normal problems associated with professional athletes like getting into a heated argument with his wife Cindy, going outside and tossing a flower pot threw the windshield of her 80,000 sports car parked in the driveway.
Man, what wouldn’t he do for a problem like that? "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Cardinal tells Catholics not to ignore science
How could a celibate man that has never been married possibly be qualified to give me advice about what I have to look forward to in my marriage? "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Thursday, November 10, 2005
dubya is against torture and also against outlawing it?
What kind of sense does this make? Bush lobbies against a congressional move to outlaw torture while at the same time emphatically insisting that the US does not torture terrorist suspects. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Wednesday, November 8, 2005
the greatest story ever told not about jesus
Two cheerleaders having sex with each other in a bathroom stall, then the prettier of the two getting into a catfight with a belligerent women lined up outside the bathroom who needed to piss is the perfect plot. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
kwame kilpatrick and george bush are lessons learned?
Is there anything else these two have in common besides winning reelection despite their first terms being the best argument anyone could make against them being qualified for a second?
I believe so. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
The Sweet Science of Titties
Atlantians knew that there was nothing sexy about Chimpanzee titties or Chimpanzee teeth. But teeth are functional, titties are cosmetic. There was a tremendous upside there and they took advantage of it. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
MONday, November 7, 2005
clinton only offered 40 goats for chelsea
Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor wrote a letter to Bill Clinton and offered him 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea’s hand in marriage. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
sex in space, again a huge concern for NASA
If otherwise straight men can’t stop fucking each other when they go into prison for six months, then why would I allow myself to be shocked that a co-ed crew on a 30 month mission to Mars wouldn’t end up in an all out orgy? "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
anti-rape condom controversial??
The last thing on a guys mind who is bleeding all over the place because his dick is caught in a barbwire condom is beating the girl up.
Besides, what’s the alternative, just lay there and let him rape you? Why are we concerned about his dick, his feelings or his self-esteem under these circumstances? "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Monday, October 31, 2005
No "morning after" pill for rape victim
"I can’t tell you how many news stories I come across in the news of American women trying to buy a prescription of the morning after pill only to be refused by a pharmacist who refused to sell her the pills because of the pharmacist’s religious and moral objections." "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Nigerian E-mail Scammers Speak: I Will Eat Your Dollars
See where your greed gets you? An ulcer, as you are being threatened by a 16 year old in a cyber café in Nigeria who has been trying to launder money for him into your bank account from his now jailed corrupt uncle in the Nigerian government.
That’s what you get. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Thursday, October 27, 2005
'missing' penis sparks mob lynching
I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
when neo-nazi meets nickelodeon
And if there is any universal truth in this world, it is not “what goes up must come down”, the more you repress your daughters when they are kids the wilder they will be when they are adults. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
WEDNEsday, October 26, 2005
catfights on the rise in boston for no apparent reason
In the Boston area, girl-on-girl fights have grown so intense that girls are even getting into the habit of caking their faces with Vaseline so that girl’s nails will slip off their faces and tying their tresses back so that girls can’t get a handful of hair on the way to school. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
The Four Telltale Signs That You Are Possessed By The Devil
Finally I have something I can put in my back pocket so that I can be sure that I am dealing with the devil and not just some super strong, fire breathing telekinetic speaking in some dead Samarian language. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Mike Tyson To Make Porno Debut With Jenna Jameson
Getting excited to see Mike Tyson fucking, considering how masculine he is and what he is famous for is kinda gay when you think about it.
Not that there is anything wrong with being gay.
It's just kinda gay. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
30,000 Confirmed Dead From 2005 Kashmir Earthquake
Just when Americans were starting to believe that God was shifting his attention away from India and towards the southeastern United States after both hurricane Rita and Katrina, think again. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Germans Think They're Well-Hung - But They're Not
Whether or not having an elephant trunk in your pants or not gave women any perceptible added sexual pleasure during sex men would still want a donkey cock. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Bear Farmer Gets Eaten By Bears
China doesn’t give a damn about human rights. Its kinda hard to make a case to them about treating animals with the same respect that they treat human beings because they would argue that “we already do.” "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Man Who Was Raped Daily In Prison Says Authorities Did Nothing
Maybe all he complained about in his letters was that he was fed up washing underwear and socks and how it is impossible to get his hair done properly with only the 15 minutes they are given to shower and wash every morning.
Maybe. But I doubt it. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Lions Eat 20 Ethiopian Villagers In A Single Week
I am a child of the 80s. The last time I saw an Ethiopian it was on a CARE commercial with a fly walking across her lips. A lion eating 20 Ethiopians would be the equivalent of a lion eating half of an American. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Static Build Up In Man’s Clothing Makes Carpet Ignite
The only reason Superman exists is because his father discovered after 4 billion years of relative peace and tranquility on Krypton, that the entire planet, which had shown no signs of it being any different than any other celestial planet in the universe was going to simply “blow up”. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Guantanamo Interrogators Exchanging Personal Information for Intelligence
The abuse of the men being detained at Guantanamo has been widely reported all over the world. Its no secret. The US doesn’t even deny it. They just want to debate about or respectfully disagree with what the general consensus of civilized society constitutes as “abuse”. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Bill Clinton Global Initiative Project Collect 1.2 Billion
If Bush cares so much about the welfare and freedom of the Iraqi people let’s see if he takes one step into that place once he is out of office to see how all of his hard work has been making out. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Ugly Woman Gambles Sister Lost
Well then the makers of the show realized that it would be too expensive and too time consuming to fix all of the shit that this woman had wrong with her, particularly her jaw, that was going to take too long to heal they decided to scrap the idea of putting her on the show entirely. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
American Girls Suck A Lot Of Dick, But We Knew That
I will admit that you will get a lot of bogus information about sex out there on the streets, whoever said you have to get your sex education from the streets. Get it from cable television. I did. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
XXX hardcore porn, daughter or mother
My daughter is a reflection of me. If she is having sex with midget circus clowns and Mexican donkeys then somehow, somewhere I failed her as a parent. "Poll Me " by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
if homosexuals ruled the world
Well, I definitely wouldn’t be a flaming heterosexual in a world where homosexuality was the perceived majority.
Flaming brings ass kickings. I would try to avoid violence at all costs "Poll Me " by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Thursday, September 15, 2005
new species of ferocious giant ape discovered in Congo
According to the “natives” in the area this ape has a particularly aggressive disposition. I do believe the word that they used was “ferocious” and that the natives had even witnessed them killing lions before. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Why Nefertiti Disappears from Historical record
When you think about it, what a terrible trade off that was. You’re born rich as hell, with God like powers to do anything you wish and the catch is that you have to fuck your family to keep the blood line pure. Crashland Naked by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8bm
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Gamer kills gamer over theft of virtual sword
Isn’t "reality" the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes? Well whoever said that line said it before Qiu and Zhu started killing each other over +2 Dragon Sabers. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Superman’s Cock Size Big Issue On Upcoming Film
Joel Schumacher must be involved in some capacity if people are actually paying someone to do nothing but adjust and readjust Superman’s package. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Ghengis Khan was a liberal, so he’s ok in my book
Ghengis is firmly at the top of the list of not only one of the greatest military leaders and strategist in human history but also responsible for the largest loss of human life in human history that didn’t involve a volcano. Crashland Naked by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8bm
tuesday, September 6, 2005
Japanese Text Books Still Prefer Disinformation Over Truth
America bringing the pain to Japan in retaliation for Pearl Harbor was just what the doctor ordered for Asia, as disintegrating 80,000 people in a matter of seconds has seemingly cured Japan of their warmongering habits. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
NOI Calls Gang bangers for Jihad against LAPD
Maybe I am twisted, but what the fuck is holy and pure about getting beat up at a gang bangers funeral and then calling for all the neighborhood thugs to help you teach the police a lesson? Why do I need to go to a mosque for that kind of lesson? I could learn that on HBO. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
monday, September 5, 2005
On your mark, get set...Let the genocidal conspiracy theories begin
Kayne West would have been much more persuasive if he would have cited a source when he shouted out that the US government has been authorized to “kill us”, but as you know, who needs a source when you are preaching to the choir? "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Moses was the product of incestuous inbreeding?
"And Amram took him Jochebed his father's sister to wife; and she bare him Aaron and Moses: and the years of the life of Amram were an hundred and thirty and seven years." (Exod 6:20) Crashland Naked by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8bm
Friday, September 2, 2005
Katrina Did What Had To Be Done
As you know, I am not in this to win any popularity contests. I have one word for New Orleans…Move. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Bush and his permanent vacation According to the Washington Post, Dubya has taken 250 days off for vacation since August of 2003. That is 27% of his entire presidency. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
1 in 5 Americans believe Sun revolves around the Earth So I take it even though they don’t understand what he is talking about when he refers to “DNA” they know that people that use big words like that are most likely going to hell. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Aborigine used boomerang to subdue and rape his promised wife Those people who act like we are just as Klingon as these people are, obviously have never been hit upside the head with a boomerang from 100 yards then sodomized you after he found you with a knot the size of an egg at the base of your skull, semi-conscious in the field where the boomerang laid you out. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Which one of God's deeds was the most unjust? So with God’s permission Satan was allowed to go to town on him. Satan killed his wife and kids. Satan gave him herpes, the clap, killed off all of his livestock. Satan even had the bank foreclose on his home. "Poll Me " by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Suge Knight Dodges Five Bullets Gets Hit With Sixth Look, I am not gang banger, but I don’t see how someone could walk up to a table in the VIP room, standing 6 feet away from Suge’s big ass and miss him with five of six bullets. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Which natural disaster will you see in your lifetime?
The asteroid is coming, don’t fool yourself, but between the chances of it missing us and the world pulling together to blow it out of the sky I think we are pretty safe. "Poll Me " by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Catholic Church: “Why? Cuz I said So.” Tom Monaghan of Dominos Pizza fame said “Catholics just don’t understand their faith. They don’t understand why the church has the authority to tell them that they have to do this or they can’t do that…this should be a benevolent monarchy, not democracy. The Church in one sense is a military organization, just like the Marine Corps.” "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Part 8: Building Character Did I ever tell you about the time that I didn’t shit for an entire week?
Well it’s true. I didn’t. And I didn’t do it out of protest. I did it for peace of mind "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Monday, August 8, 2005
What do Americans really think about Dubya? What do the American people really think about Dubya? And I am not just talking about the blacks, homosexuals, Jews, the lonely and the damned to hell. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
What would you do for $10? Just goes to show that when you are morally bankrupt it doesn’t cost much to purchase your services. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Mojo Jojo type monkeys threaten to wule da werld When she called the authorities to come get the little bastard off her roof they showed up in white, hazmat type suits for their protection, sedated it and carted it off in a protective container. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Mad Scientist Create A Girl… Yes the sexuality of mad scientists is one of the few topics that have never been discussed with any depth here on this site, because up until now, it wasn’t an issue. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Police discover the most Prolific Molester In U.S. History Calling him the most prolific in U.S. history instead of the most prolific child molester in human history says more than I want to know about the kind of numbers you would have to put up to be in the pedophile hall of fame, not to mention the pedophile top 10. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Chinese General threatens to Nuke US out of his own personal stash I figure when Yao Ming gets a call from China telling him to get his ass on the next flight to Beijing then we need to take this seriously, until then we need to just distract them from Taiwan by reminding them about how the Japanese keep forgetting to mention the rape of Nanking in their textbooks. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Hollywood inadvertently proves just how gay it really is I just think it is funny that they have no problem posting it across the front of their paper every time a leading lady has a miscarriage with photographs of her running out of the hospital in tears but they consider whether or not someone is gay “a private matter”. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
The book went into print last night. I should be getting the first shipment within the next five days. I will be sending out all of the orders that I have already
received at that time, signed and numbered. Thank you for your patience.
Scientist Discover Why God Is A Dude Christians prefer to say that Mary just woke up one day and was knocked up.
Well it turns out that God probably doesn’t have a penis after all so they’re probably right "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Grand Theft Auto’s XXX “Hot Coffee” Sex In America a game that is about killing human beings, albeit gang members, doesn’t cause as much flap as when people find out that you can do a code and actually fuck your girlfriend. Somehow that seems backwards. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Everyone that has ordered a book. The cover was just finished tonight. The book will printed early this week. As soon as I get the copies from my publisher/publicist I will be shipping them out you. Thank you for being patient. I know you are going to love it!
Saturday, July 9, 2005
This has got to be a sign of something There’s a lot of things in this world I wish I could control, and if doing a little rain dance or rubbing the smooth side of a rock could make things go my way for a change I would do it. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Israel refuses to extradite Jew accused of war crimes If this was an 86-year-old German that had killed 1,500 Jews instead of a Jew who killed 1,500 Germans their would be international outrage if Argentina simply denied a request for extradition on “technical grounds”. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
What? Abstinence Only Programs Don’t Work?? ...not everyone that gets a sexually transmitted disease is trifling, but if you get a sexually transmitted disease you are three degrees away from someone who is or should I say was. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Tuesday, July 6, 2005
Real Life Human Torch Almost Too Bizarre To Believe Fuck Tom Cruise. Setting yourself on fire, taking out a cop with a pipe, having to be wrestling down by six others and holding off the entire Engine no. 9 is not the result of not getting enough potassium. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com
Americans too stupid for high-tech factory work If you thought it was harmless electing a president that favors teaching our young kids that God created man by molding a pile of sand and blowing up its nose as science, well it appears as if it has come back to bite you in the ass. "raw" by Nkrumah Steward, creator of 8BM.com