Search 8BM.com
for old stories.

Wild Animals
I have yet to hear of a satisfactory explanation of how exactly domesticating an animal works. I don’t quite understand how living around humans for thousands of years makes you less wild. It seems to me that if I took a box of puppies and left them in the woods and they were raised by a gray wolf they would grow up to act like and be gray wolves. Likewise if I took a gray wolf from infancy and raised it among supposedly “domesticated” animals that wolf would be as cute and as loveable as Benji.
Where is my logic flawed?
People who take animals like anacondas and panthers and bring them to their homes are people who have taken this theory to heart and are trying to actually prove my hypothesis. Can a rhino be a loveable pet if you give it all of the love and care you can spare? I don’t think so either. And I don’t think 10,000 years of working with rhinos is going to end up doing any good either.
200 Pound Pet Burmese Python swallow's Man's 30 pound pit bull whole
I love animals, but fuck a pet snake. At best, it is a big worm with a pattern on it. At worst it is hiding on top of your refrigerator waiting on your unsuspecting cat to mosey on over to his water bowl.
Bin Laden thinks he has it bad...'Twice-killed' dog lives
This dog has all the bases covered. The foundation for his Jihad has been laid. This is a little easier to grasp from the dog than it is from a millionaire 300 times over.
Police charge parents of girl killed by pet snake
If my wife ever showed up at my job to tell me that my daughter was on the kitchen floor with a snake wrapped around her head and that I need to get home to help get it off, she catches a mandatory immediate all out no holds barred beat down right then and there.
Man Admits to feeding kitten to 10-foot Burmese python
His lawyer says that he is being shed in false light.
Man shoots decapitates pet pony he mistakes for Bear
if you think you are an idiot, chances are you are not an idiot. Those of you that know that you are not idiots are the ones that are going to require additional supervision.
Shark Attack Victim's Wife Says Lifeguards Wouldn't Help
She says that her husband yelled for help, but none came. Shit lady. I am surprised that you are surprised.
Horny Pig Meets His Demise After Romantic Escapade
At one point, a suggestion was made for Gantt "to whop the pig on the head with a shovel," but he said he couldn't do it; it was too cruel.
Man Sexing It Up With Dog Says: "I can't get no girl"
Here is my question. When does a want actually cross over that ambiguous line to become a legitimate need?
Couple on Trial for Dog Mauling Also Practiced Bestiality
Can something still be disturbing while at the same time not the least bit surprising?
Monkey's Stone Man To Death For Blocking Well
Who Said That Animals Were Stupid?
Angry Hippo Wants To Start The Year Off Right and Bites Woman to Death
No one knows for sure what their problem is. Sure they are territorial. Sure they are aggressive but fuck, this is the African wild we are talking about here.
The fucking butterflies are territorial and aggressive in Africa.
Poodle Beaten to Death In A 'Fit of Rage'
I know he doesn't quite fit the profile of a man who would swing a poodle over his head like a helicopter propeller in a fit of rage, but hey, that is why we don't stereotype people on this website. See how wrong you would've been?
Boy reaches under bed and is bitten by poisonous snake
If your mom was like my mom she wouldn't commit to they're not being a zombie possibly hiding in the closet. "they are such weasely bastards you know?"
Man claims self-defense in killing of toy poodle with a Shovel
It is still not clear whether he will survive the vicious attack to his pinky finger.