Pope Paul II (1467-71) died while being sodomized by a page boy.
Joining the priesthood to serve God is like trying to find hidden messages in a Beatle Song. I am sure you can do it, but that wasn't what it was intended for.

Napoleon's hemorrhoids contributed to his defeat at Waterloo.
I use to wonder why government documents that concern national security are by law not made available to the general public for like 100 years.
I don't wonder now. They want to make sure that they are long dead before it becomes common knowledge to the whole world that they lost a war due to their poor diet and horrible toilet habits.

Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.
Some men need little tiny red sports cars, and busty blond 19-year-old girls to show that they still measure up...while others need to take over Europe.

Between 1902 and 1907 the same tiger killed 436 people in India.
God's wrath against the people of India does not just manifest in the form of mudslides, rampaging elephants, typhoons, derailed locomotives, chemical spills, serial killers, flash floods, earthquakes, meteorites, volcanoes, rabid monkeys, and charging cows. No, sometimes it manifests as an inability to get a clear shot at a man-eating Tiger that was single-handedly killing 87 people a year.

Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out Bizarre Sexual Positions
Before I will offer a comment, I would like to have you define the word "bizarre" in this context please. Uh, and I will need pictures.

13 people a year are killed by vending machines falling on them.
We either need to reduce the price of carbonated beverages or reduce the amount of caffeine we pump into the product because honestly, nothing in that machine is or should be that fucking important.

In 1920 the Russian transplant pioneer Serge Voronoff made headlines by grafting monkey testicles onto human males.
I think I just discovered the Godfather of Nazi science. I thought only a Nazi would graft monkey nuts on someone. That's pretty disturbing to say the least. Not so much that people were walking around barefoot in a lab with a pair of Gorilla nuts hanging down to their knees but that the "mad scientist" cliché we all know so well from schlock sci-fi was actually art imitating life. Jeeesh.

30% of Americans refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
70% of Americans find peculiar rashes and spots of discoloration on their asses and genitals from time to time.

Peter the Great had his wife's lover executed and his head put into a jar of alcohol. He forced her to keep it in her bedroom.
A man's cock doesn't just have a brain of it's own it also has perfected the ability to divert just enough blood from the brain so that when it presents its arguments they sound faultless.