|Anyone that knows me knows that I am the furthest thing you can get from a conspiracy theorist. Sure, I understand that conspiracies happen every single day.
Two cops gun down a kid in the inner city, agree on what their stories are going to be and call in a favor to their boss to put in a good word for them down at the DA office. It happens all the time.
However, just because that kind of shit happens doesn’t mean that I am going to take it to the point where there are like eight or nine old men sitting around in a smoke filled room somewhere in Europe pulling the strings on everything from the price of coffee beans to who is going to win the College football national championship.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, to really make it a credible conspiracy theory, every member of this secret group must be a direct descendent to a founding member and collectively they have been controlling all the societies of the Earth since before Jesus.
Oh and how could I forget the frosting on the cake.
The entire organization has to be run by a Jew.
Without the Jew piece of the pie, I am sure any theory you come up with, regardless of how credible, would get you laughed right out of the room.
Jews bring credibility to any theory of society being controlled by a few.
I understand however that there is an enormous audience out there for ready to consume anything that would support that kind of thinking.
My first problem with these people is the obvious. The fact that you claim that there are these secret societies that are running everything yet you know so much about them. If they are so secret how do you know about them? I am sure they didn’t invite your ass to tag along and take minutes of their meetings.
Secondly, you know all of this stuff about them but you don’t know any of the important things like who is in the group and what the fuck they are planning ahead of time?
And lastly, even if they were running the world from some smoke filled room in some castle in Europe, why are they always leaving a trail of clues around for schmucks like you and me to decipher what they are up to on things like the dollar bill, the liner notes on Beatle albums or by doing some crazy mathematics after plugging in dates that only have significance to the conspiracy nut buff who thought to toss them in the pot?
|Buzz Aldrin accused of punching moon skeptic
Apparently there are two things you just don't do.
Never tell a professional wrestler that you think wrestling is fake and never ask an astronaut to swear on a bible that he didn't fake the moon landing.
Spies Like Us
Big Brother Real Audio Networks
Christmas From Your Friendly Neighborhood Death Squad
apparently this 8,000-member paramilitary
death squad known for such as using chain saws and sledgehammers
to torture and kill rebels and suspected rebel sympathizers
are now sending out Christmas cards.
Know Whether You Scrunch or Fold The Toilet Paper After You
I feel Violated.
Your Local Militia
If This information is so hard
to get then why is it posted on a web page?
|NASA plans book to address moon landing doubters
evidently they want you to believe that NASA was so scientifically incompetent regarding the moon that they had a wind machine installed so that it could blow the American flag around for dramatic effect.
|coke to put global positioning system transponders in product
In one stroke Coke just gave credence to every Timothy McVeigh conspiracy theorist packing soil fertilizer into his munitions shed in America.
|ACLU says that the FBI are spying on us
It’s a little late now to realize that your neighbor is a storm trooper.
|Lake disappears, baffled villagers blame... America
40 million gallons of pond water is coming to a grocery store shelf near you courtesy of the U.S. department of wildlife.
|U.S. trained Elite Mexican commandos, now working for Drug cartels
I swear, America has the absolute worst luck when it comes to training other people to do our dirty work.
|Want Actual Proof Of UFO's? Ask the Disclosure Project
Call me back when you have a tentacle in a zip lock baggy or a redneck. I thought you said you had proof.